Friends Sharing About Alzheimer's

Yesterday a friend asked me how I coped with caring for my mom who had Alzheimer's.  Her mom now is living in a nursing home and seeming to be battling the same disease.

• You cope by taking one day at a time with that person. 
• You cope by learning all you can about the disease to better understand.
• You cope by planning ahead...yes, you must consider that they won't get better, but will fall further into their Alzheimer's world.
• You give them pleasure by being whomever they wish for the day.
• You look at this as an adventure.

You find someone who has been there, with whom you can talk and share.

Alzheimer's Resource - Minding Our Elders

A very good resource for Alzheimer's caregivers, to enable them to understand their family member or patient, is Carol Bradley Bursack's web site, Minding Our Elders. As Carol describes it...Breaking the Isolation: Information and Support for Caregivers and Seniors.

Carol discusses many topics on a daily basis and offers many resources. 

She also is the author of the book Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.

Do you have a favoriet Alzheimer's resource that has helped you cope and to understand this disease?

Children's Approach to Alzheimer's

"I make Grandma happy," my granddaughter remarked (7-years old at the time), when someone asked why she visited when her great grandmother (my mother) didn't know her and couldn't talk well.

Kara's response made me realize I hadn't made a mistake to take Kara and her young brother on my visits to see Mother in the nursing home.  They were learning about growing older, forgetfulness, illness and being family.  Caring for one another would become part of their lives.

The youngsters enjoyed their visits.  We had various rituals that Mother enjoyed.  We shared meals or afternoon tea with her.  Kara and Alex joined in activities with the other residents.  (Mother's Alzheimer's was too advanced for her to do this now.)  They drew pictures for her and made cards.  We sang songs.

If you treat the visits as an ordinary part of life, youngsters generally won't be afraid to visit relatives in nursing and assisted living homes.  They'll show fear and reluctance mainly if the adults do. 

These may be Kara and Alex's only memories of my mother, but they'll have fond memories rather than scary or distasteful ones, just as I do.

(Image: sxc.hu)

Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's
Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's (Book II)
(I have essays in both of these books.)

Sharing Comfort Among Alzheimer's Caregivers

"Mary, I'm so glad we talked," Kay said.  "Now I know I'm not the only one experiencing these problems with Mom."

Even though my mom and aunt, both of whom had Alzheimer's, have passed away, I still find that sharing my experiences involving them helps to comfort others and enables others to understand the person they're caring for.  Kay has been caring for her 94 year-old mother, who now is in a nursing home, but seems to have developed Alzheimer's or some form of dementia.  Mom gets mixed up about who people are, suspects those around her of plotting against her, and in general becoming a different person from the one they've known all their lives.

Kay's talk with me seemed to reassure her that what she and her mom were experiencing was "normal" in the circumstances.

So many people don't want to talk about their experiences while caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's.  They want to put it all behind them once that person is gone.  However, if you can find the incentive to share, you just might be helping others.

Something to think about!

(In the above book, Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's, I share some of my experiences with Mother.  Other caregivers have much to share, too.)

More Posting Needed, I See

Since I'm gaining followers here at "Notes," I'd better give you some updated material.  Although my mom and aunt have passed away, I still find I should share with others in hopes of making your journey as a caregiver easier.

So...back to sharing here.  Also, I hope you'll share with me...what your needs are and how you're getting along with your caregiving.

What Would You Like to Know?

As I get back to writing here about Alzheimer's and caregiving, I'm wondering what my readers would like to know. How can I help you as you deal with Alzheimer's in a loved one? I can't make the situation go away, but perhaps I can help you understand and to encourage you as you go through each day.

Perhaps I can be someone you can share your frustrations with and help you realize you can survive.

Getting Back to Writing about Alzheimer's

Just noticed I have some followers to my blog, so I'd better get posting again! I've been busy with other blogs, one on Parenting at Blisstree, which does contain some Alzheimer's posts.

However, I'll share some more words of encouragement here at Notes from an Alzheimer's Caregiver.

Although I no longer actively care for a family member (both Mother and Auntie have passed away), I do have memories of the trials and joys and hope I can encourage others by sharing.

I also give talks on Alzheimer's and caregiving and provide information about scrapbooking and journaling activities with those experiencing memory loss.

(Image from sxc.hu)

Enjoy the Small Triumphs of Caregiving

Caregiving Triumphs

As you go through the day to day tasks and frustrations of caregiving for an Alzheimer's patient, you may not think you're experiencing triumphs. However, train yourself to look for these, write them down, and share them.

At my Alzheimer's Notes blog, some of my readers have shared theirs in the post, Enjoying the Small Triumphs of Caring for Alzheimer's Patients.

What have been some of your triumphs?

Can Alzheimer's Caregivers Become Obsessive?

Caregiving and Obsessiveness

After reading Carol Bradley Bursack's post, Obsessive Caregiving Can Be Harmful to Caregiver and Care Receivers, I realized that some caregivers could find caregiving overwhelming because they became too intense with their task.

So I wrote a post, When Caregiving Becomes an Obsession, at Alzheimer's Notes to call attention to this fact and referred to Carol's post.

You may want check this out and let me know what you think.