Saturday, December 16, 2006

Christmas Alzheimer's Story at Alzheimer's Notes.com

I've posted a story about Christmas and Alzheimer's at Alzheimer's Notes.com that I wrote, several years ago, for an Australian church publication. It's loosely based upon my experiences caring for my mom.

Perhaps in reading this story, you'll feel less guilt or sadness if you can't bring your family member home for the holidays.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Caregiver's Poll on Alzheimer's Notes

I've included a poll on my b5media Alzheimer's Notes blog concerning caregivers. It helps me know what information and resources to include if I have some idea who my readers are.

I hope, through both of these blogs, I can give encouragement and inspiration for caregivers as they go through this difficult time in their lives and that of the person they're caring for.

You'll also find a great deal of other information at this blog. Let me know what you'd like to find here, too.

Monday, July 31, 2006

What is an Alzheimer's Blogathon?

Over at b5media.com's Alzheimer's Notes (www.alzheimersnotes.com) I wrote about Cathy's participation in a blogathon to benefit the Alzheimer's Association, on July 29. Cathy of Cathy's Rants and Ramblin's, blogged for 24 hours to meet her fund raising goal.

To learn more about Cathy's experience and to read some of her blogs, visit her site, http://arthritisrants.blogspot.com ).

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Driving & the Alzheimer's Patient

Allowing your family member with AD to continue driving often becomes a difficult decision for caregivers and families.

For more information about this topic, visit my blog, To Drive or Not to Drive, at www.alzheimersnotes.com

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Alzheimer's & Memory Albums

If you'd like to read about making Memory Books/Albums for and with Alzheimer's patients, visit my Alzheimer's Notes site at www.alzheimersnotes.com. I wrote about my experience making scrapbooks with residents at the nursing home where my mom once lived.

I also linked to Carol Moxley's story about her dad and Memory Albums.

My mom and aunt were afflicted with Alzheimer's disease. I've also made an album about my mom's Alzheimer's years and mention it in an earlier article on Alzheimer's Notes.

Some people might find it sad to do this. Our family looks at those pictures and remembers the joy we brought my mom during this time in her life. It is amazing that in just about every picture she'd smiling.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Protecting the Alzheimer's Patient from the Sun

To learn more about protecting your family member from the sun when they may not realize the dangers because of Alzheimer's, visit my web site at www.alzheimersnotes.com . There I've posted information on this topic, as well as some research regarding clothing that offers more protection than others.

Because someone with Alzheimer's, if they knew about the danger of UV rays, may have forgotten, we need to be aware for them.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

More Alzheimer's Information

For those reading this blog who desire more information about Alzheimer's, visit my column at www.alzheimersnotes.com.

Here I have additional stories and resources you may find of interest and help.

Friday, February 24, 2006

What Is Quality of Life?

“What is quality of life?” becomes a question many families of Alzheimer’s patients eventually ask themselves. To each person it’s different and even will vary as one becomes involved as caregiver for a family member. You also may be surprised with what you discover.

Before my mother developed Alzheimer’s, I never thought I’d want her to continue living at a stage where she didn’t know me, where she was dependent on others for her care, where she often lived in the world of her childhood. However, my view on this changed as I saw both Mother and her sister take the journey through their Alzheimer’s worlds.

I realized that even though Mother became less capable, often did frustrating things, might think I was someone else, she was still my mother. She still was interested, for shorter and shorter periods, in life around her and my activities.

As a former school teacher, she sat fascinated throughout the afternoon as I prepared a slide program about the Oregon Trail to present to youngsters. When I arrived home, she wanted a report on how it had gone, even though her thoughts drifted off soon after she inquired. I still have fond memories of that shared time together.

We’d bring out the quilt I made with her mother (my grandmother) when I was eight-years old. Mother recognized some of the pieces as fabric in a younger life. The reminisces of earlier days became treasured information I wrote down to share with future generations.

We looked out the patio door one evening and saw our reflections. Mother’s thinking these were visitors stretched my imagination. We learned that finding humor in situations we couldn’t control brought laughter into our lives and lessened the frustrations.

Later when Mother resided in a nursing home and seldom recognized me, my daughter, or my grandchildren, she still enjoyed the youngsters’ visits. “Such good children,” Mother remarked as they played around her wheelchair. Then she patted the little boy on his head. He looked up and grinned at his great grandmother.

Mother lived many years beyond what many people would consider a “life of value.” However, for my family and me, she added a dimension to our lives…one of caring, understanding, and laughter we would have missed if we’d thought her of no significance and discontinued caring for her and visiting her.

For those who think an Alzheimer’s patient has no quality of life, they haven’t experienced the joy of seeing someone’s face light up from a shared hug, kind word, or laughter even though they might not fully understand the situation or who you are. “Quality of life” takes on a new meaning when you consider it from this viewpoint.

©2003 Mary Emma Allen

(Mary Emma Allen lives in a multi-generational home in New Hampshire and writes about Alzheimer’s, including her book, “When We Become the Parent to Our Parents.”
She also gives talks at nursing homes and for caregiver groups. Visit her web site at:
http://homepage.fcgnetworks.net/jetent/mea; E-mail: me.allen@juno.com )

Friday, February 17, 2006

A Privilege to Care

So few people understand how I could find joy in caring for my mom and aunt with Alzheimer's...and to continue writing and speaking about this experience to encourage others. So many people I've talked with, as I've spoken to groups around the country, feel caring for a family member was a traumatic experience and one they’d like forget.

I would rather my mom and Auntie hadn't endured Alzheimer's. However, it wasn't for us to decide. Once I realized they had this disease, my aunt first and then my mom, as she was caring for Auntie, I certainly couldn't turn my back on them.

They developed Alzheimer's in an era when this disease wasn't talked about very much. Families almost wanted to deny their loved one had it. Support groups and networks for caregivers were very few. However, my neighbor, who was responsible for her great aunt with Alzheimer's, and I helped boost one another. We shared experiences, laughed and cried, and found new ways to appreciate these ladies.

Now that Mother and Auntie are gone, I realize I was given an opportunity to make two ladies happier, midst our frustrations and discouragements. I was given an opportunity to learn about caring when roles are reversed, when we come upon the unexpected in life, when we rather the situation were different.

As I look back, I understand that I was given a privilege to care for Mother and Auntie and learned about love in a different phase.

(c)2005

(If you have questions or information to share, e-mail me: me.allen@juno.com; type "Alzheimer's Blog" in the subject line.)

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Sharing With Caregivers

When I mentioned I’d cared for my mom and aunt, who developed Alzheimer’s, the young woman I met while waiting at the airport immediately remarked, “We need to talk.”

It turned out she thought her Father might be developing Alzheimer’s and simply needed to talk with someone who had been through this situation of seeing a parent overcome with this disease and trying to help them.

So many people simply need someone to talk to, find a shoulder to lean on, a person to reassure them they can cope as they help their family member. That’s why I began writing newspaper and magazine articles on this topic, which evolved into my book, When We Become the Parent to Our Parents, and contributions to other books.

I also give talks to caregiver groups and in nursing homes to connect with caregivers, whether they’re family members or doing this as their profession.

“Alzheimer’s is a devastating disease,” I often say. “But it doesn’t have to devastate your or your family member.”

(c)2006

(If you have questions or want to share, e-mail me: me.allen@juno.com. Type "Alzheimer's Blog" in the subject line.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Joy in Alzheimer's in Second Printing

It’s exciting to find your work included in a popular anthology, especially when it’s a book that’s helping others. I have several essays concerning my mother’s journey through Alzheimer’s in Finding the Joy in Alzheimer’s, Caregivers Share the Joyful Times, by Brenda Avadian.

Imagine my pleasure in learning from Brenda that the book is going into its second printing.

Brenda and I have cared for parents who’ve experienced this illness. Even though it’s a demanding experience, emotionally and physically, you can find rewards in knowing you’re making this loved one’s Alzheimer’s years as pleasant as possible.

My daughter and grandchildren learned from my mom, too. Even when she didn’t know us, we could enjoy activities with this lady in our lives.

Many caregivers have contributed to Finding the Joy in Alzheimer’s. Hopefully this book will aid you if you’re a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s.

Brenda also has published Finding the Joy in Alzheimer’s, Book 2.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

When We Become the Parent to Our Parents

At first I wrote about Mother's and Auntie's experiences for newspapers and magazines. Soon so many caregivers seemed to be reaching out for comfort, that I began making copies of my articles to share.

Finally a friend said, "Mary, why don't you compile the articles into a book? You can reach so many more people that way."

So the idea for When We Become the Parent to Our Parents evolved and my book, which I also illustrated, resulted. Here I try to give insight into caregiving and to bring comfort and understanding to caregivers.

I've always said, "Alzheimer's is a devastating disease. But it doesn't have to devestate you nor your family member who has it."

I dedicated the book to my mom and aunt, two ladies who were always concerned about other people. Through my writing, they leave a legacy of caring and helping others through this journey in their lives.

(c)2006

(For more information about When We Become the Parent to Our Parents, e-mail me: me.allen@juno.com. Type "Alzheimer's blog" in the subject line.)

Why Write About Alzheimer's?

"That's such a horrible disease," people often remark. "Why do you want to write about your experiences caring for your mom and aunt?"

I learned there could be joy in caring for these ladies...joy in seeing them smile and experience contentment in a world so different from the one we imagined they'd be living while in their eighties. I found joy watching the interaction between my grandchildren and their great grandmother. This created pleasurable memories that will remain with the children throughout their lives.

I learned that life isn't always as we imagined nor planned. However, there often is a purpose in the experiences we face.

By sharing with others the experiences my mom, my aunt, and my family faced, perhaps we can help them in their journey through Alzheimer's.

(c)2006