Kara's response made me realize I hadn't made a mistake to take Kara and her young brother on my visits to see Mother in the nursing home. They were learning about growing older, forgetfulness, illness and being family. Caring for one another would become part of their lives.
The youngsters enjoyed their visits. We had various rituals that Mother enjoyed. We shared meals or afternoon tea with her. Kara and Alex joined in activities with the other residents. (Mother's Alzheimer's was too advanced for her to do this now.) They drew pictures for her and made cards. We sang songs.
If you treat the visits as an ordinary part of life, youngsters generally won't be afraid to visit relatives in nursing and assisted living homes. They'll show fear and reluctance mainly if the adults do.
These may be Kara and Alex's only memories of my mother, but they'll have fond memories rather than scary or distasteful ones, just as I do.
(Image: sxc.hu)
Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's
Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's (Book II)
(I have essays in both of these books.)
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2 comments:
I am so glad that your grandkids enjoy going to the home to visit. All Moms grandkids and great grandbabies stay away except one and she is the youngest. She talks to mom and helps with her and enjoys being with her. The older ones don't even talk to mom anymore when and if they come and visit. Mom does not know her youngest great grandbaby is here but it does lighten the place up for the rest of us.
Thank you for sharing, Karen. Those who help and interact with Alzheimer's patients and care for family members with this illness gain so much. When we can share with youngsters and enable them to accept and enjoy the elderly and infirm, we and they have an added bonus. Those who stay away out of choice miss so much, I've discovered.
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