Kara's response made me realize I hadn't made a mistake to take Kara and her young brother on my visits to see Mother in the nursing home. They were learning about growing older, forgetfulness, illness and being family. Caring for one another would become part of their lives.
The youngsters enjoyed their visits. We had various rituals that Mother enjoyed. We shared meals or afternoon tea with her. Kara and Alex joined in activities with the other residents. (Mother's Alzheimer's was too advanced for her to do this now.) They drew pictures for her and made cards. We sang songs.
If you treat the visits as an ordinary part of life, youngsters generally won't be afraid to visit relatives in nursing and assisted living homes. They'll show fear and reluctance mainly if the adults do.
These may be Kara and Alex's only memories of my mother, but they'll have fond memories rather than scary or distasteful ones, just as I do.
(Image: sxc.hu)
Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's
Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's (Book II)
(I have essays in both of these books.)
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