A Privilege to Care

So few people understand how I could find joy in caring for my mom and aunt with Alzheimer's...and to continue writing and speaking about this experience to encourage others. So many people I've talked with, as I've spoken to groups around the country, feel caring for a family member was a traumatic experience and one they’d like forget.

I would rather my mom and Auntie hadn't endured Alzheimer's. However, it wasn't for us to decide. Once I realized they had this disease, my aunt first and then my mom, as she was caring for Auntie, I certainly couldn't turn my back on them.

They developed Alzheimer's in an era when this disease wasn't talked about very much. Families almost wanted to deny their loved one had it. Support groups and networks for caregivers were very few. However, my neighbor, who was responsible for her great aunt with Alzheimer's, and I helped boost one another. We shared experiences, laughed and cried, and found new ways to appreciate these ladies.

Now that Mother and Auntie are gone, I realize I was given an opportunity to make two ladies happier, midst our frustrations and discouragements. I was given an opportunity to learn about caring when roles are reversed, when we come upon the unexpected in life, when we rather the situation were different.

As I look back, I understand that I was given a privilege to care for Mother and Auntie and learned about love in a different phase.

(c)2005

(If you have questions or information to share, e-mail me: me.allen@juno.com; type "Alzheimer's Blog" in the subject line.)